Knowing What Pants to Wear Around Here

I've learned a few things after 25+ years of marriage.

One lesson learned is that the 11 most powerful words are: "Yes, Dear", "I'm sorry" and "would you like a glass of wine?"

I've also learned that it's wise to chose your words carefully.

For a guy this usually means keeping your mouth shut when in doubt of what to say.

Perhaps the most important thing I've learned in the last 25 years is how to coordinate my wardrobe. The following will explain how this works in my world.

When I was single the process of deciding on what shirt to wear would usually involve going through my laundry pile to see which shirt was least wrinkled; had no stains, AND passed the armpit sniff test.

Now that I'm married this decision making process been radically upgraded - with today being a classic example of how this works.

Today there happens to be a large BBQ happening on my wife's side of the family, and I went upstairs a while ago to shower and get dressed for the occasion. Upon entering the bedroom I saw 2 piles of clothes laying side by side on the bed. On the left was a pair of demin shorts with black T-shirt, while on the right a pair of olive coloured shorts was laid out with a matching shirt of its own.

There were no socks with either outfit, which translates as: wear sandals.

I chose the demin and black, to go with my Birkenstocks.

What is apparent from this dynamic is that although I still make the ultimate decision on what to wear, the process has now been greatly simplified for me. Perhaps best of all is that I no longer have to come up with an answer for: "Is that what you're going to wear?"

Yep, life is good when you can simply shut up and smoke your cigar.